


Be More Chill, Evan Hansen

by 0alchemy0



Category: Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Crossover, Fluff, M/M, Soft Boys, crackfic, mentions of drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2019-10-14 02:42:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0alchemy0/pseuds/0alchemy0
Summary: This is mainly a bunch of crack fic / conversations between the boys XD





	1. Michael in The Bathroom... and on his period

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Ugly_Potato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Ugly_Potato/gifts).



Michael is at the biggest party of the fall, crying in the bathroom bc his player 1 left him for Squip and being cool and Christine. Michael has his knees drawn up to his chest and he’s crying. 

“I could stay right here, or disappear, and nobody would even notice at all-“ Michael mumbled. The door broke down and a boy with sandy blonde hair, a blue and white stripped button up was standing in the doorway. 

“NOBODY DESERVES TO DISAPPEAR!!!!” The boy screams. Michael let’s out the girliest scream ever and here comes the Poster Child for Hot Topic. 

“Ev, Seriously?? Let him be,” the boy says, grabbing the other boy who is continuing his little spiel about how no one deserves to be forgotten. The Emo boy, picks the door up and puts it back. 

__

”who is in the bathroom?” Jeremy asks, walking over to the bathroom. 

“It’s Michael Mell,” one of the girls says. She obviously has to take a pee. She knocks on the door. 

“LEAVE ME ALONE IM ON MY PERIOD”

the girl gasped “ohmigod I’m sorry bro,” Michael sniffles. Jeremy stands awkwardly as the girl walks off, probably to the back yard to go pee in the woods. Connor sighs. He rolls up his sleeves, and pulls out a joint. He opens the door a crack. 

“LET ME PICK AT MY GROUT AND GREIVE” Michael screams. Connor closes the door. 

“Jesus fucking Christ” he mumbles. He slides the joint under the door. “Better?” No response for a moment. 

“Better,” Michael replies, opening the broken door, catching it when it falls. 

“Wow, I think my boyfriend just stole yours,” Evan said in shock. 

“In my defense, I chose Squip over him soo...” Jeremy shrugged his shoulders, and walked off listening to Michael and Connor bond. 

“You watch Cable porn too!!!!”

”yeah, The Pizza Man has to be my favourite tho,” Connor replied. 

“Wanna go get slushees and sushi?” Michael asked Connor shrugged and him, Michael, and Evan walked out of the party. 


	2. TreeBro crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some of the best Treebro moments...

 

"Hey, Evan, did it hurt when you fell?" Connor asked. Jeremy dropped his game controller, and Michael choked on his Slushee, both thinking Connor is going to ask Evan out

"Fell from heaven?" Evan asked, remember seeing the pick up line a dozen times on Pinterest.

"No, out of the fucking tree," 

* * *

 

Evan is over Connor's house in Connor's room. He can't help but think something is going to happen between them. 

"If you put a Milkshake in the front Yard, and crack a cold one in the backyard... where would the boys go?" Connor asked. Before Evan could answer, he kept on talking "If Cinderella's glass slipper was her perfect shoe size, why did it fall of her foot?"

"How high are you?" Evan asked

"42," 

* * *

 

Evan and Connor decide to do something cute and couple-like and they go to the beach together. In all honesty, despite being very lethargic, Connor has some muscles. But that's not what's caught Evan's eyes, it's the scratch marks on Connor's back.

"Connor where did all of those marks come from?"

 _well, I was outside by the trash can smoking and this mother fucking racoon came out and fucking attacked me like the peasant it is_ "I'm having an affair" Connor replied. 

* * *

 

There are always two different people that go to the lake..

There are people like Evan who think the lake is beautiful, and he's aesthetically skipping rocks.

Then there's Connor, mumbling "Fuck you," Every time the throws a rock into the water, pretending it's going to hurt the lake (When it really doesn't but Evan is a good boyfriend and says how much the Lake is getting its ass kicked)

* * *

"I don't get it, who is it going to be?" Jeremy asked, "I mean, cannonly aren't you supposed to be with Zoe?"

"Let me tell you something that's going to blow your fucking mind," Connor says, casually walking out of Evan's closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never laughed so hard writing a fanfiction  
> I'll have to write more crack fics


	3. Michael and Connor in the Basement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Connor are stoned in Michael's basement

"Do you think it's worse to wear a fedora or kill fifteen people?" Michael asks staring at the ceiling. 

"Probably fucking my sister's boyfriend, then wearing a fedora then kill fifteen people" Connor replied.

"That's dope," Michael adds, taking a long swig of his slushee.

"I bet you wish that straw is Jeremy's dick, huh?"

"It's my only fantasy," 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the hell is wrong with me XDD


	4. Why Squip is a Bad Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rich on Squip...

Jake walks into Rich's bedroom, and see's him watching cartoons "Why are you watching cartoons?" He asks. Rich pauses his Anime, and his eyes narrow as he slowly turns his head to Jake. There is an awkward silence for a moment.

"IT'S FROM JAPAN!" He screams as intense heavy metal music plays, and fire and sparklers shoot out from every direction imagionable. Jake petrifed, falls the the floor and crawls his way out of the room. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IITTSS FFRROOMM JJAAPPAANN!!!!!!!!!!!  
> IT'S A GREY OLONG PILL


	5. How Connor Came Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was late for school and probably high

"CONNOR WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE, COME OUT!!!" Zoe yells from the end of the hall

"I'M GAY,"

Mr Murphy angrily slides Mrs. Murphy a $20. 


	6. Reasons Why the Murphy Family is dysfunctional.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it’s not entirely Connors fault

Mrs. Murphy has hit her breaking point with Connor and Zoe. She decided as a form on non-verbal communication between the two, was to get the little magnet letters so they can write letters to each other. Something simple like “Connor, buy more milk”. Zoe decided to give it a try and she spelt out the only example her mother could think of. The next day, Under the letter, Connor spelt out “no fuck you”

”JESUS CHRIST CONNOR STOP SWEARING!!!” His father yelled 

“THATS HYPOCRITICAL” Connor yells back.

”I’m surprised you know what that word means,” Zoe replies. 

“If you want milk so bad go to the store, and go get some. Last I checked you didn’t get your license taken away,” Connor added. 

“That’s not the point! Connor you have to be quiet-“

”-Susan no one asked you,” Connor turned to his mother (Cynthia, is her name)

”Connor will you shut up? I think Evan wants you to suck him off”

”oh I wish,” Connor replies, making a dreamy face. He looks at Zoe and narrows his eyes “I bet you do too,” 

“WHAT HE HELL!” 

“Holy shit... NO SWEARING” mr. Murphy yelled. 

“THATS HYPOCRITICAL!!” Both Zoe and Connor said at their dad.

“This Family is so dysfunctional. We need family therapy,” Mrs. Murphy said.

”I’ll kill myself (again) if you sign us up for that,”

”good” Zoe said

“I know right!” Connor replied.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the only family more dysfunctional family than My family is the Murphy’s XD


	7. Treebro fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor recites a Vine he saw

“I’m gonna say it,” Connor says out of the middle of no where. Evan furrows his eyebrows and looks at his boyfriend. “I don’t care that you broke your elbow,”

”I-I didn’t break my elbow... are you reciting Vines again?” Connor nods as he burst out laughing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno if I hate myself for this or if I think I’m a genius


	8. Purple tongues.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cjkwoehd

Christine is still kinda friends with Jeremy and Michael. She’ll occasionally play games with them and go out for Slushees. She decided for lunch, she was going to meet up with Michael and Jeremy. But something was different...

”Jeremy... why is your tongue purple?” Christine asked. At Seven Eleven there are only red or blue slushees not purple. 

“I had a Red shush” Jeremy said

”and I had a blue one,” Michael added 

“oh” Christine said. “ _OH!!”_ __

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idefk


	9. Wayyyy to out of touch

DEAR EVAN HANSEN WE’VE BEEN WAY TO OUT OF TOUCH

Evan: *touches Connor’s shoulder* Better?  
Connor: better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just don’t even know anymore


	10. Fam

"I thought you were bae..." Michael says to Jeremy. "Turns out, you're just fam"

_oh fuck... he got you there,_ Squip said to Jeremy.


	11. The pants song

* * *

“So, if I love Jeremy, and I mean love to the point we’re I’d fuck him, do I  _really_ want to put pants on? I dunno it seems counter productive to put pants on when i’m Trying to take his off,”Michael explains 

“now, you’re asking the real questions” Evan replied

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m low key done with myself— this crack is gold


	12. Soulmates

“I’m pretty sure my soulmate is a bag of gummy worms” Michael said, sighing and taking a drag of his joint. 

“I literally  _just_ ate a bag of gummy worms,” Jeremy said, taking a drag of his joint. 

“You piece of  fucking shit... you just ate my soulmate. That was the love of my life!!” Michael replied, flicking the joint out of Jeremy’s mouth and sending it flying across Michael’s basement floor. 


	13. Evan tried to help Connor....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oofers

“You do know you’re ignoring all of your problems, right??” Evan said, trying to help Connor in some way.

”yeah I know,” Connor replied

”and you also know it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism,”

”yeah. I’m ignoring that too,” Connor said 

_ho-ly shit_ _he’s literally a basket case_ Evan said, while reciting “Basket Case” by Greenday in his head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idfk there’s something wrong with my thought proses for half of these chapters 😹😹


	14. Bad boy™️

“I hope you’re into bad boys, because I’m bad at everything,” Connor said to Evan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gold


	15. The Whole World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long break fam XD

"I can fit the whole world in my hands," Evan says one afternoon.

"That's not possible," Connor replies. Evan cupped Connor's face. His face got really really really red. Evan cocked an eyebrow, and Connor smiled, then he shrugged Evan off of him. "Stop that... I have a reputation"


	16. GlAdLy

Jeremy and Michael are play-fighting because Jeremy was cheating. Jeremy pushed Michael's chest. Michael grabbed Jeremy's wrist and pulled him closer. 

"Try that again?" Michael said, raising his eyebrow, expecting a submissive response from Jeremy

"Glady," Jeremy replies. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinky~


	17. Bad reception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH sorry for the 60 year hiatus coming up with crack fic chapters are hard and I was sick today and I smell like throw up so yay

“I’m breaking up-“ Jeremy half says. 

“I’m pregnant,” Michael replies 

“the... the cell service is shit” Jeremy says

”I panicked” Michael replied.

I guess one could say long distance calls isnt Michael and Jeremy’s strong suit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K bye


	18. WhO?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while, I haven't had any crack so I wasn't all kwhflAKEHF, you know?

"Guys we have to be careful, someone here is possessed by an owl," Connor says

"Who?" Evan replies. 

"That the thing we don't-" Connor stares intensely at Evan.

"We don't what?" Evan asks as Connor slowly backs away from him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stole this from a vine/tiktok/video from instagram I saw that has be fucking rolling so enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is short, and yes, that’s the point. Each chapter is gonna be short bc that’s how I roll with this crack fic. XD anyways see y’all later.


End file.
